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My Laugh Diary

Today was Wednesday, my newly-traditional day for a treadmill speed workout.

On this Wendesday, I made up and proceeded to rock the following workout:

Incline:      1.0
1 mile:       7.3 mph
3 miles:     9.3 mph (6:27 mile pace)
1 mile:       7.1 mph
3 miles:     9.3 mph
4 minutes at 9.0 mph.

total: 8.6 miles in one hour.

I think there is a name for this type of run.  Tempo?  I don't know.  I also don't care.

The workout was more manageable, mentally and physically, then my previous runs with shorter bursts of a higher speed (5-6 minutes at 9.6-10.0 mph). The hardest part was actually how thirsty I got during the 3-mile speed-ups, but I didn't want to break the speed streak for water.  I chugged my water during the slower 1 mile instead.

I turned the incline down to 0.5 at the 45 minute point.  My legs started burning/stiffening, or whatever the accurate description is for fatigued muscles. 

Magically, my treadmill TV this morning had more than basic morning news -- it had E! -- so I had the pleasure of watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  A first for me.

I was profoundly fascinated by how nasally and whiny Kim Kardashian (and her family in general) sounds.  I thought that voice was a comical exaggeration on the part of Saturday Night Live.  But actually, that's how they talk.

The fascination played a part in helping each 19+ minute "interval" go by pretty quickly.

NON-RUNNING

I have something enjoyable, yet private, that I must share bits and pieces of, because it is just that wonderful.

Presented by Me and Him

The Gentleman and I share a notebook for the exclusive purpose of commemorating things we have said (or that we have overheard) that crack us up.  Either because they are genuinely funny, or because they are absurdly not.



Genuinely funny.  I did this on purpose, for the record.


Reading through the notebook floods back memories of funny moments that I otherwise would have completely forgotten.

I highly recommend such a laugh diary.

Here are a few gems.  If you're LUCKY, and if you appreciate my humor, I may share some more in the future..

  • The Gentleman, upon waking up: "will you be my maid of honor?"

  • Me, upon admiring someone's backside: "If I was a vampire, I would only eat butt blood."

  • Me, recapping my workday to the Gentleman: "this is one of those days where I'm like, "fuck you, stomach!"

The Gentleman is making fun of a facebook "friend" of mine who does this in EVERY picture.


We have a list of "Caitlinisms"  (shocker! that's my first name.  Let's stick with Rose though in these parts).  A Caitlinism is a word or phrase that is inaccurate in context, yet clearly associated with the word/phrase that was meant to be used.

For example, my mom still laughs about the time I tried to recall the name of the singer "Meatloaf".  I called him "Roast Beef".

  • Caitlinism:  Trying to recall the phrase "Household Name," I went for "Kitchen Material" and confused the heck out of the Gentleman.

  • A brilliant phrase we made up while having trouble finding parking.  "It's hard to park; it's hardcore to parkour."  (Look up parkour if you must).

Last, we have pages and pages of knock-knock jokes that we made up.  They are amazing.  Some are horribly dirty, and others are appropriate for a 3 year old.

Rated G:
Knock-Knock -- Who's There?
Asparagus
Asparagus Who?
A spare guest bedroom for a weary traveler?


Rated X.  hehe.  I took this pic without the Gentleman's knowledge.


Rated X:
Knock-Knock -- Who's There?
Cuticle
Cuticle who?
C'you tickle my vagina?

You are very welcome.  Good day to you and yours.