Oprah Hates her Stomach

Although I've never watched an Oprah show except for one or two sick days in high school (it's on at 3:00? 4:00? Isn't everybody not on their couch at that hour?), I have been a loyal O magazine reader for about 9 years.

Every time a new issue arrives in our mailbox, the Gentleman and I hold our breath to see....if....once again, Oprah found a way to hide her stomach on the cover of the magazine.

Look at these cute puppies, but not my stomach!

We've noticed a hilarious/sad trend.  On the off chance that the cover is not just a shot of Oprah from the shoulders up (most common), Oprah--or her magazine production team--finds a way to creatively cover up Oprah's middle section.

Christmas bulb wreath! Not a chubby belly!

We like to ponder whether she has strict orders that the cover-photo team always cover her up, or whether the cover-photo team secretly keeps taking these kinds of photos without telling her because they can't figure out how to flatter her body after years of working with Kate Moss types.

Today we hide the thip.  Thigh/hip area. That was a typo but now I'm going with it as a cool made-up word

Seriously?!  How does anyone not find it awkward that she is hiding behind a cake?

Dogs are a common go-to cover up.  Double-time with the block of words

Dogs!! Oprah HATES just one dog at a time.   She LOVES many dogs at a time.

I can't even find her legs in this one

Thank you...for incredibly large font "Thank You!"

My very favorite.  Oprah covers herself with Rosie O'Donnell....who covers herself with a curtain

Three Oprahs, concealed by one word flag.

Maybe these are all a coincidence -- after all, photoshop seems like an easier solution if hiding a bulge was the real purpose.  Either way, I don't understand what the editors/Oprah are trying to hide.  She is supposedly "candid" about her weight issues.  And, she looks fine as far as I'm concerned.  She's also OPRAH.  She could look like Jabba the Hut and we would still admire her for whatever that thing is that she does that we all love.

Who is Oprah fooling?  Do you think this is her choice or her editors? Am I trying desperately to devote an entire post to something irrelevant but slightly amusing? Yes.