Sad Song

I know I have a reputation of being, like, so extremely chipper and upbeat and probably exude  the spirit of a Broadway musical.  Did I get that right?

Well in a change of pace from my classic Rodgers & Hammerstein song and dance (sarcasm), I've had a pretty bum week.  Pretty much right after my reign as 800m Queen Supreme, the week went downhill.

I was sick on Fourth of July.  Our fabulous plans for the holiday were semi-thwarted by my lack of energy, but we still managed to hike (a little less than one-mile each way) up a hill in Napa to a viewpoint for fireworks.  The homemade (not machine made!) rosemary bread that the Gentleman made, and our selection of cheeses, were delicious even though my congestion swindled about 60% of my sense of smell/taste.

Bread and Cheese and Legs


On Top of Napa

Cherries, Olives (always Castelvetrano!), Jalapeno Salami, Cherry Tomatoes

Full of picnic anticipation

I trudged through the rest of the work week.  I was sick, but trying to bust out a trial brief, so I made my way to work and fought the foggy head.  I also fought with my health insurer over a $1100 dental bill (!!!) that the insurance is only paying $250 of.  Leaving me with an $850 bill for some super special porcelain fillings that are too future-forward for the insurance company to cover.  I lost that fight.

By later in the week, my cold was compounded by Esophageal Spasms, something I have occasionally suffered from since March of 2010, and while I'm sure there is a spectrum of how painful these can be, when I get them it literally feels like someone is crushing my heart with a squeezed fist.  Even WebMD compares the sensation to a heart attack, so I'm pretty sure I'm not a huge wimp and these spells are actually very uncomfortable.  Still had some spasms last night, so this part of my week is still not going well.

Saturday, I was really looking forward to heading to Napa for my brother-in-law's grand opening party for his new car restoration shop space.  (If you live in the bay area and are--or know--someone who is interested in vintage cars or contest-winning paint jobs, please pass his name on! His talent amazes me).  The party was to begin at 5:00, so the Gentleman and I headed to a nearby AMC to watch The Amazing Spiderman at 1:30 before heading to Napa.

One of his cars, in his new shop.  Yum.

The movie was OK.  Andrew Garfield out-hunks Tobey Maguire by one-thousand points, and Emma Stone wins for biggest eyeballs in the movie industry (close contender to Mila Kunis).  When we left the theatre at 4:00 (long ass movie), my car was gone.

Gone! My car was stolen.  I am heartbroken.

The good ole days.  In my sweet car....

I hate admitting that I am so devastated by a material thing.  I understand, you know, that nobody is hurt, that I have my health, this and that and etc etc.  But my car...which has been mine since 2004 (8 years!) and in my family since 1999, is the closest thing I have to an appendage...or to a pet.   That car has been through every single significant event of my adult life with me.  That car is the only part of me that was the same at age 20 as I am today.  That car was a fucking great camping car.  A great 4-wheel drive car for driving to Tahoe.  It smelled like me.  Every little nick and dent in that car has a story.

And dammit, I kept stuff in that car.  And all of that is gone now too.  The CD collection that I began building when I was 13 years old until now....all gone.  My favorite dress-up shoes, that I was going to wear once I got in Napa.  Books, clothes, board games, newspaper articles that I was saving, the sunglasses that were the Gentleman's first surprise romantic gift to me....they were all in my car.  To be clear, it wasn't a messy car--it was bigger, like a jeep, and these little things were under car seats and in the trunk.  And since I've moved 10 times since age 20, sometimes a lot of your belongings just end up in the car.

Heartbroken.  There is no silver lining, and that's ok to just admit and say that this SUCKS.  People keep trying to tell me that the silver lining is that now, I can get a new car! A car that I like better!

Shut up!  This is like being the inconsiderate friend who says you can get a new dog after your pet passes away.  You can't replace one unique thing with another.  Shopping for something new doesn't fix all problems.

Not only that, but as I hope most people already know...being 2 years out of law school does not make you rich.  I'm very thankful that we both have comfortable jobs (the Gentleman is also in the legal industry), but we are strapped to loans and bills just like everyone else.  We aren't high rollers....our vacations are usually in tents, and we live in a relatively crappy pad, in order to bust our asses saving so we can hopefully get the hell out and purchase a home in the next year or two.  So it's not exactly a silver lining to get to (have to) purchase a new car when it's not something budgeted for.

If there was any silver lining? It was that I got to hang out with a cop for 10 minutes while filing my police report.  Don't even get me started on how much I love cops.  Even though I know they don't care about stolen cars.

Writing helps.  I'm feeling 90% over my sad fest.

In better news, my cold was finally letting up today, so I enjoyed a slow 19 miles out and about in Oakland.  I was full-on prepped to start sprinting the second I saw my car (as if I would actually spot it).  Dream on.

And since food can make many things better, the Gentleman decided to make the loss of my car better by opening a recipe book.

My lamb and mint burger.  I'm really enjoying this non-vegetarian year.

Hey sympathy party: has anything been stolen/lost that made you really upset?
Anyone suffer from esophageal spasms?  Find anything that works for you?